Of Gods and Demons
by Anzu Rose
Summary: They gave her hope. They gave her despair. He told her she could do it, he showed her she never could. The evil encouraged her. The purest good pushed her to despair. Yet she wanted nothing more then to bask in her imperfection, and admire his glory. [Sak


There were two things that Sakura Haruno had always worked very hard on.

Her appearance

Her mind

Perhaps that's why he annoyed her so much. Ever since she was a little girl, she had known a few things. She had known it was bad to lie, bad to steal, and bad to associate with bad people. Once, when she was a little girl she was walking through the streets with her mother.

The woman pointed to a small, ordinary blonde haired boy. She whispered to her daughter, "Sakura, you are never to associate with that boy."

The young girl looked at her mother for a moment, then shifted her gaze back to the boy. "Why Mommy?"

She pursed her lips, "He's a bad boy Sakura. Get involved with him, and your only asking for trouble."

Sakura was always a good girl. If Mommy told her to do something, she always did it. Later she had asked daddy about it. He looked to Mommy, tied his headband tighter and nodded to Sakura. "Mommy is right."

Ever since, what her mother said stayed in her mind. She never questioned it, only trusted her parents. She always did what they told her. When mommy told her to study hard, she did. Mommy always said that Sakura was weak, and that her only asset was her ability to memorize.

That was something that Sakura was always good at. She was even better then Ino at it! She always got good grades at school. It was something she worked hard on. But it didn't matter. She got good grades, yet she wasn't important. Mommy and Daddy still didn't have time to be with her. She was obviously flawed, and she wanted to be perfect.

She knew she wasn't pretty enough. Every other kounichi told her such every day. Until Ino found her, she hadn't existed. That is why the moment her hair had been tied back by that ribbon changed her life.

Ever since then, image had been everything. She wanted to be as pretty as Ino. She wanted to be as funny as Ino. She wasn't to be as cool as Ino. She wanted to be just like Ino. She wanted to matter the way Ino mattered. She wanted to be loved, and to be cared about.

Then she met two boys. In actuality, she had met them both before, but never like this. She met Sasuke Uchiha. She met perfection. She met someone who was everything she wanted to be. She wanted nothing more to be with him, simply to sit next to him as if in hope that some of that perfection would just become part of her. It wasn't love, it was obsession.

That day, for whatever reason, she had noticed Naruto. She had seen that face that her mother had told her to stay away from. She had seen some one who was lost. She who didn't care about appearance, or his mind. Someone who wasn't loved, someone who wasn't perfect.

Someone like her.

That scared her. Scared her more then anything else in her life. Somehow, seeing that boy who had completely fallen apart, someone who must have been so terrible to make her parents hate him… was she like him?

She hated him.

She hated herself, and her weakness.

Thus, she hated him.

She simply pretended he wasn't there, and killed that part of herself. Killed her weakness, and uncertainty. She filled herself with confidence, with Ino and Sasuke. She told herself she was smart, and she was. She told herself that she was beautiful, and she was. She told herself that she loved Sasuke.

But then she heard, Ino did to.

Only one person could love him. He was her god, her model, her inspiration. Ino couldn't have him. This was one thing where Ino couldn't have her way. As that thought came to her mind, she stopped to think.

Of her two Gods, whom was she a disciple of?

Ino had given her everything, Sasuke had given her nothing. Both promised her nothing, only to be a follower.

Ino had taught her everything, and she meant everything to Sakura. She loved her like a sister, and wanted nothing more then to make her happy. She wanted to be seen as perfect in her eyes. She had to prove something.

She handed the blonde the ribbon. She had nothing more to learn.

She had to become someone.

Paired with the Angel and Demon. Perfection and who she was. Both everything she wasn't. She hated him, and wanted nothing more then to always be better.

Until she was told, "You're annoying".

She felt the weight of the world. Her pure bliss was gone, left only with the hollow words. She heard herself saying the same thing to herself. Had she changed, from nothing to still nothing? Had she truly, not grown? No one called Ino annoying. She was the same…

She could never change.

Naruto walked her way. Every part of her brain protested, but she smiled and waved.

Only to be rejected.

By the lowest of the low.

Worthless…

Annoying…

She couldn't give up. It wasn't what Ino would do. She had to prove herself. She had to show her worth. She had to achieve perfection, and she had to protect her God. Worship, and love him.

They gave her hope. They gave her despair. He told her she could do it, he showed her she never could. The evil encouraged her. The purest good pushed her to despair. Yet she wanted nothing more then to bask in her imperfection, and admire his glory. She had to achieve perfection, she had to surpass Ino, and eventually perfection itself.

She saw them grow, and in the blonde boy she saw her old self grow. Yet her new state was frozen. Perhaps she hadn't been ready. Not when the test came, not when she was all alone.

Her god had fought the devil and lived. He was wounded, and she must protect him. The boy had fought as bravely, but neither could stand against the evil devil. It was her duty to watch them, to aid them in their healing.

She was helpless. A small girl trapped in the fates of Gods and Demons. She could not fight, simply watch. She wanted to aid them, she wanted to protect them all.

She couldn't.

She was weak.

When Ino appeared again, some hope died. She could not go on her own. Her Goddess had returned to protect her follower. Again, she was worthless. She did not matter, and never would.

They fought through hell's garden. Her God protected her, as did the Demon. She wished nothing more then to be with them forever. Suspend the time of peace and war, and live there frozen forever. Clocks turn, and time passed.

She was to fight her Goddess. She had to win. She had to prove her she had learned something. She had not discarded her Goddess, merely took to another religion. She had to prove it wasn't for nothing. She had to prove herself to perfection.

So much happened, she came even, and something was proved. She was not as weak as all people thought. Her God was poisoned, and slowly dieing. The Demon became a man, and life was thrown off balance.

Time was fast-forwarded. Her God fell from Grace, and her Demon Man grew to be respected. She ran to save him, tried to rescue her God. She only learned who he was. He was the devil garbed in angel clothing. He would kill her.

And she was nothing to him.

Nothing.

Was she ever?


End file.
